God’s Rubik’s Cube

Remember that feeling when you get a brand new rubki’s cube?  It’s perfect, it’s pretty, it’s a challenge

AND…..

It will never be perfect like that again, as it is in this moment. Because, what do we do? We immediately twist, turn, rotate it until it turns into a block of mis-matched colors on every side.  Will it every look as perfect as it did when you first got it out of the box, again? Probably not.  I mean, some people know how to solve the rubik’s cube but I’m willing to wager that the mass majority of us can not.  I mean, we try.  My God do we try. But rarely does it every look that same as the in the beginning, it it’s perfect state.

I tried to learn how to solve a rubik’s cube, once.  And I succeeded for a short time.  There is actually a multi step algorithm to it .  And aint nobody got time to memorize that.

However, that’s neither here nor there and beside the point.

What I am getting to is that we are all born in this out of the box state.  The perfect rubik’s cube.  Un twisted, turned, manipulated. We are untouched by society, judgement, opinions.  We are pure. And as we go through life, God throws us twists and turns.  Sometimes we find ourselves the only yellow block, surrounded by blues.  Sometimes we are surrounded by like colors.  We don’t know what turn is next, we don’t know which colors we’ll be paired with next.  But God does…. God has memorized the algorithm of our lives and it’s hard for me to remember that at times.

This past weekend made me feel like the only yellow block in a world full of blues. It was the first weekend that I spent alone in Florida. The boys were at a cub scout camping trip and I found myself facing a wall of blue. I don’t know that many people here, yet.  I’m not yet plugged in and I felt alone.

Most of you know that I am an open book.  I am open about my fears, anxieties and even my triggers of depression, in hopes to be a beacon for those who are too afraid of the stigma that is typically attached to these words.  So, with that being said, I took to social media for help.  I flat out said that being alone scared me.  That I felt lonely and that anxieties were looming in the shadows of the empty days ahead.

As a result, I received texts, comments, emails from dozens of people

 ranging from TN to FL.  This helped me back up and see the slow rotation of

yellows into the solid blue wall.

I

was

not

alone. 

I prayed, I received MUCH appreciated encouragement and I connected with God in a way I had been missing.  Saturday approached and I felt a wave of ease and peace wave of me.  I was not the only yellow because of God’s every twist and turns.

I will never be perfect as I was when I was first pulled from the box.  Most of my life will probably be spent mis matched or off kilter. But this weekend helped me realize that God is in control of the next move. And he’s got the answer key.  So, worrying about being the only color on one side, is a waste of energy.  We aren’t in control.  Some days we’ll find ourselves aligned with like colors. And in those moments, we will rejoice.  When we find ourselves in single color moments, we will have courage.

Because the greatest thing about a Rubik’s cube?  Is that it is always perfectly imperfect…..